don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
