his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
