More tranny stories later!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
