Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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