non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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