Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
