i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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