Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
