apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I party with great urgency now.
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