I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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