I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
