I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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