At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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