....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
