So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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