yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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