he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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