you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I didn't notice because vodka
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
