She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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