Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
