He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize