Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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