There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
