You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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