I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
