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thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize