i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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