4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
