hotel room ftw
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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