You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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