Need sex. Gaining weight.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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