It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
