well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Even my vagina gasped.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
