I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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