How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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