so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
