Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
