Cold hands, warm shart.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize