Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
