When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
