Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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