I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
