we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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