sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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