I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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