I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
