I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
