It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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