Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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