so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
