so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He has the fingertips of a God
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