Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
