there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Acid is not a monday night drug
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
