I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
