I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
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his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
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My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
How naked do you want me to be?
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