giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
