Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
