new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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