don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
