True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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