"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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