me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize