Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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